A FORMATTED CONFESSIONAL how fancy and different for this round
I want to start this off with a blast from the past. A few days ago, I posted this in my confessional:
I was PRETTY mad Becky left. But I kept my cool, did my thing, and went out and made an alliance with some of the people I felt closest to in the game. Awesome stuff.
Now, fast forward back to now. I'm on the block, lost the PoV, and these are the people who will be responsible for me surviving if I do.
What a sick twist of fate.
Oh, and the people I felt closest to in the game? Yeah um, if I want to survive, looks like they need to go over me.
Suffice to say I'm rather upset about that! When Jackie told me at the beginning of this round that she had a "plan," I was assuming that if she wasn't lying, it was probably a plan to backdoor Shelli or Cody. People who are known to be good in challenges, and potential threats down the line. Cody going up would have been SO unbelievably ideal. He would have easily gone and everything would be amazing because nothing game wise really changes except now maybe less people are targeting me/want me out.
But of course that's not what's going to happen. After Jackie told me what I posted above last night, she didn't specify what she was going to do and I wasn't going to push my luck and ask. This morning, I messaged Ika for the first time in a few days and she told me that she has been trying to get Jackie to nominate Shelli for the last few nights. Apparently she's been doing work behind the scenes to try keeping Howard and I safe which is like.......I don't really know what to say about that. I am obviously super thankful but I just have no idea why! I get that she doesn't trust Shelli and wants her to go, so maybe that's why she's doing all this rather than just liking me??? I just have no idea what I could have done to get Ika to like me so much that she'd keep me or have me as a priority. It makes me feel bad thinking about it tbh given I haven't given her the same treatment. It's just all so WEIRD.
But yeah so she's been trying to get Shelli next to me and is fairly sure if she does go up she goes and I stay and was naming off people who she is pretty sure she can get votes from. Apparently her and Jackie have been asking around anyway to see if Shelli is the one going over me if she gets nommed. In another sick twist of irony, I said at the beginning of this round that I was probably going to regret keeping Jackie over TIff and that Shelli had every right to say "told ya so" when I got evicted. NOW, she's the one getting evicted for it (if it happens) and it's just.....sure a thing.
I am very much the sort of player who tries to repay their debts with someone and I think Jackie knows that which probably contributes to her trying to save me this round. A bit after Ika told me about the plan Jackie told me herself about nomming Shelli. I still poked around a bit to see if it could be Cody instead, but there was no opening I could find and I'm on thin ice and am not going to put my foot in my mouth right now.
The thing is, I 1000000000% Kels/Shelli to rat Nat and I out lmao. I fully trusted Shelli and have said probably a lot of potentially bad things that might be bad to get out if she ends up next to me, but because I'm a spaz I literally don't know what. I forget if I specified to her about how I would have gone after Jackie/Ika if I won HoH and if I did WELL, that's gonna require some explaining. I'd probably just tell them that I needed to do and say anything to survive so that's what I did. Altho no idea how the whole convo I had with her about how she and Porsche are my priorities above and beyond everything is gonna go if she talks to Jackie about that too. Not even Natalie knows about that, and I have no idea what to do. Ika DID say this:
And I'm not sure if that's referring to the alliance I made with her/kels/porsche/natalie or if this is still natalie/becky/jun. I didn't exactly ask lmao, and just said that I was just trying to survive. If she DID tell Ika that then TBH, that's a good thing because I'll feel way less bad about all this and apparently she already understands. The thing is that I have no idea what would make Shelli tell Ika any of that given I didn't think they were remotely close. Why would she rat me out? But Ika also doesn't seem like the sort to make stuff up, but just in case she was I wasn't going to accidentally rat out the alliance. Like I said I left it as me trying to survive and we didn't get into it any more than that.
So I have no idea what to think. When they initially were telling me this I was thinking about how big of a mistake they were making in keeping me, but hoooonestly idk if I'm going to be able to forget this. I do owe them and I'm gonna need to find a way to either repay them quick or learn how to suck it up and betray them down the line lmao. If they really do think Shelli is sketch and they just see this as their chance to take her out, my strat of "never be the #1 target" is working to literal perfection. However I have a feeling there is a lot behind this I have had no control over and have just been very lucky about, so I'm going to count my blessings, lay low, and hope that a bomb isn't set off in the house.
