holy shit
i dont deserve to be safe right now. i really dont
i'm lookin at my actions, lookin at how i've behaved, seeing the new outted alliance, seeing the blown up shit, seeing what i've said, looking at my allies, seeing the votes... and i really shouldn't be safe right now. goddamn, what the fuck did i start? can i even finish it? where do i go from here? i've lost track of my own goddamn game, but hell, at least i still have it. lord almighty have mercy. you're about to fall down the deep rabbit hole that is my confessional for this round. so strap yourselves all tight n comfy and get ready - you're in for a world of pain.
it all started late last night, me and kelsey hashed shit out. imma start off by saying that everything i've heard has been from corey, he told me that i was in some trouble. he told me i was almost nominated this week and that kelsey was skeevin.
i heard about me being a potential nom vs erika, i heard about me being a potential BOOT, and this and that. i also kinda had suspicions on kelsey based on how she acted with me. for one, she acted all surprised that zach was getting backdoored when corey kinda made it obvious. secondly, she completely ditched an alliance that was made just a few days ago. kelsey was a total scumbag and wasn't hiding it at all, BUUUUT she won hoh. since i heard from corey that i was a potential nom, i started working on kelsey before her hoh to make sure i was all good with her. i told her my issues, we hashed it out, and we even genuinely decided not to nominate each other. i didn't nominate her, she didn't nominate me, and thats how we ended last night.
This morning rolls around and i hear from arlie that erika is hella good at these types of challenges because she uses a hot key or some vague computery nonsense that i dont understand. so i'm like, damn, guess whose gonna be the renom? you bet your ass its me. so right before results were going up, i messaged kelsey beginning a plea.
imma start off by saying i had no plan walking into my conversation with kelsey. everything that you're about to read happened on the spot, improv style, with NO plan of its own. i just improved this entire part right here and none of it was preplanned, i had no idea how i was gonna talk kelsey outta nominating me and i genuinely believed i had no shot at staying safe.
so kels an i start off by talking about how "she needs to keep me safe cause my ass will be grass and hers will be next". i reiterate my stance, i'm like "shit, kels, if you put me up you know your ass is next... they were already planning us to butt heads against each other, they're gonna drop you like a fly". she takes the bait, but she tells me something like "howard, i heard corey told you all that shit"
now rule #1 in my mind is "never be a snitch unless your snitched on first" in the bb house.
so i was like "whut??? nah kels, i heard that shit from
cody". i told 100% of that shit straight outta my ass. it was about as legitimate and solid as diarhea.
then the sparks begin to fly. she's like "what??? from cody???" and i'm like "yeah kels i heard i was almost nominated by you cause of cody and uh shit like that"
then shit gets real. kelsey asks for quotes, tells me that cody's been pushing for me this whole time, and even down the line... kelsey tells me about pck, this alliance they have. but this isn't till later. so i'm showing quotes outta context, making cody out to be this villain, and then... the kicker, the piece de resistance that revealed this whole game.
I faked a chat log. i took a quote, edited it, and repasted it as a lie. it's not against the rules since it's not a screen shot, but it's still kinda wrong. imma touch on the morality of that decision later but the lie worked, and the best part... it matched with my story, the shit i've been saying, and the shade i've been throwing. it made it all tie together, this one little fake little lie.
the lie i told wasn't even that juicy. i literally copy pasted what corey told me, replaced corey's name with cody, and then threw it right back in there. i didn't even spend a lotta time on it.
this opens the box for me. kelsey starts questioning cody, starts being hella paranoid, fuckin porsche gets involved, i'm eating a burrito bowl getting ready for work being like "WTF is going on". i was in pure bliss. this shit was actually working. and then kelsey comes to me, and needs a bit more convincing. she says cody denies saying the shit i said, so i'm like "yeah but then how'd i know all that dumb stuff???" and she doesn't consider corey telling me. she's hesitant, doesn't think she can get the votes against cody. i'm like, "yo kels, i'm genuinely confident we can get 3 votes and get cody outta here"
that's a genuine lie, i have no idea if i can pull 3 votes outta my ass. hell, i can hardly pull 2.
so then shit gets real and kelsey is like "aight imma nom cody but you gotta tell porsche that cody told you about an alliance". and im like huh? basically, kelsey was down to nominate cody if i tell porsche that cody told me about an alliance called pck, between porsche cody and kelsey.
i'm like hell yeah kels i'll literally give oral to a duck to stay in this game, i can easily lie about that. (hell, i already faked cody telling me shit, why not do it again
)
so here we are. i'm literally on "do not disturb", trying to figure out what the hell imma tell porsche about this alliance, and i'm safe. it's so great. the only bad part? cody might hate me now, and kelsey and porsche will probably hate me later. but hey, i was on the edge, i had to do something and sadly, drastic times call for drastic fucking measures. i pulled this shit off because i had to do it. it's all legal, it's a little shady and villainy, but i got the job done so FUCKIT.
on the low though, i do feel bad to cody for faking a chat log he said. while legal, it's extremely nasty to lable him for anything. he can clearly do the same for me, but it's as easy as replacing the name on the computer with someone elses and making sure the times are right. if he hates me for it, then i lose a jury vote and i do feel bad.
buuuuuuuuuut
cody sold me out, cast me aside, and wanted me gone after i did nothing to him. so honestly? i could feel worse. dueces, cody. it's been fun, but i caught onto shit and did the impossible to get your ass outta here.
onto the final 7 baby, the placement i
always get.
)