Round #5 - Recovery, by Eminem

[zach]

This is the round where I rebound.

[zach]

Shelli winning HoH is great in that I'm definitely safe (she already said so I was worried for about .5 seconds though), however it's definitely not because I'm almost surely going to see someone like Becky, Jun, or Natalie in trouble.

Also lowkey hoping that Shelli being HoH is going to get me in some more alliances with this other "side." If not alliances, at least keep myself in a good enough position to not be their number 1 target.

Yeah, I'm gonna be saying that a lot this season too. Worked the first time!!!

[zach]

I hugely apologize that's all I've had for this round so far but that's because of a combo of not being super around so not feeling like using the time I have to write stuff, and the lack of stuff I NEED to write given the whole laying low thing means that I've mostly just been hearing what people have to say rather than saying or doing much myself.

But I think enough has transpired throughout the week to write something so I'll go do that. Also I'll probs be updating the videos in bulk like I did last time I played haha, but hopefully not as many at once.

[zach]

Where. To. Begin.



The end of last round ended up being a huge sh!tstorm and that was a lot of my own fault for a variety of reasons. As you know my alliance of Natalie, Becky, and Jun (unofficially the g0 fan club but because no one bit on the name I kept my mouth shut) was leaked to Shelli a while ago (likely when it was formed) by Jun. Jen told me it was leaked and I made the mistake of telling Jun who then went to Shelli saying it was leaked who then went BACK to Jen who said that Jun went to her meaning it was obvious that I told Jun as soon as Jen said anything. Mega awks. Jen wouldn't say who leaked it but Jun luckily did and when she said it was Shelli because she made an F2 with her near the beginning of the game and saying she was just trying to be a good ally I laughed a lot on the inside. Like of course that's a thing.



This also did all make a ton of sense as to why the previous night (on wine Wednesday) Shelli was trying to go in so hard about not having any alliances and feeling on the outs and all that jazz. I continuously denied having any official alliances which made this look even WORSE. Especially because I don't have the same excuse as the other 3 where they were asked to be a part of the alliance. No, I was the HoH, I was the one who went to them about being in it. I named everyone who would be a part of it and now here I am with the egg on my face for it. This is one of the reasons why this is all my fault.

The number 2 reason is that I came to the conclusion that it was probably best to be the person telling everyone else that the alliance existed rather than it coming from Jen (more likely Kelsey tbh who was probably continuing to find new ways to throw me utb). So that's what I did!.......but probably not as well or as spread out as I had hoped. There were a lot of people to tell it wasn't exactly GUARANTEED that it would come out (but it hella was going to). I had a variety of reactions when going around about it.



I was most worried about how Shelli and Porsche would react to the whole thing given I always had it in the back of my mind that they were my priority over my actual alliance (yes I recognize how dumb that is after not just asking them for an alliance shhh). When the news broke that's pretty much what I had to HAMMER into them; the fact that they were always my priority and that I was sorry for having this alliance and not telling them and I mean not like I'm LYING. I told everyone that the main reason for the alliance was to make sure Tiff would leave during my HoH but dunno how believable that was. Both of them APPEARED to be super understanding and throughout the night I definitely got to learn a bit more about what Shelli was also hiding with the Jun F2 and whatever. Porsche seemed a bit confused at first but also TBH I wouldn't be shocked if she knew about it all this time given Jen HAD to have told her when Shelli did like c'mon. I think I fixed both relationships at least to a degree and I still feel close to both on a game level so now just hoping it's the same both ways.



David didn't seem to care and he understood we were still trying to work together despite all this. Jen was trying to say him and Jun are a close pair which I'm assuming he got from Shelli when Jun told her or w/e. I wouldn't have been shocked if he knew about the alliance before all this happened but he played it off really well so probs to him. He is on the block tho so not like he's going to be outwardly mad.



Howard was a someone who I always felt close to but also have felt like we haven't had TIME to talk about game stuff. Like I'm also not sure how much he's been talking with everyone else in the game. If it's a lot then coolio and I'm glad that I'm wrong but that's not my interpretation. I also told him this the next day after denying there was anything official going on when he asked me because he was wondering how all that box HoH organization stuff happened if there wasn't. So I told him that I lied and he asked me why he wasn't invited to the alliance which I felt REALLY bad about. I would have loved to make an alliance with him but while he said he had a good relationship with everyone in the alliance I didn't necessarily KNOW that. I assumed he and Becky were good because historically they have been but not only did I not want to avoid thinking that way, but also I had no idea about Natalie or Jun. He seemed to eventually take it well though, not like he was angry.



Ika seemed VERY upset when she brought it up with me and I had to go all in saying sorry and how I just didn't want to make her feel like a 5th or whatever. My relationship with Ika is one of the weirdest I think I have in this game because whenever we talk it seems to be about game and she maintains that she feels very close to me but I have NO idea how given we don't talk that much. She said that Shelli and Porsche said something to her about how they thought she was close to Howard and how she didn't know why they thought that and how no one knows that we are close (even I didn't know!!!). Pretty sure that was my bad given I almost 100% told each of them about how Howard picked Ika first for the clique stuff but I wasn't going to say that lmao. Anyway back to the alliance thing, she kinda dropped it from there and just said that it doesn't look like it changed anything with the vote. Not very confident that this one went well.



Erika and Arlie basically had no reaction whatsoever about the whole thing which was kinda odd especially after asking Becky and Natalie about wanting an alliance ages ago or whatever. Nice that they don't seem mad but I think they were also more worried about Jen being the one to leave that round. Another thing with Erika is that she told me that Shelli told her she expected me to be a vote to save Jen the night before the eviction stuff was going to go down which was awks given I wasn't sure.



Jen said to talk to Natalie about if she was willing to save her and I spent the entire day off discord because I wanted to cool off a bit and take a step back after the bomb I set off exploded. I was fairly sure Natalie would have no interest in saving Jen but figured I'd ask about it anyway and she said exactly what I expected. That means that even if I wanted to the only way I could have saved Jen was to go to Jackie about it which didn't sound like an overtly normal course of action given our relationship (or lack thereof tbh).



I really SHOULDN'T have been considering saving Jen for as long as I was and that was one of the reasons why I took a step back. It felt like that I was only considering saving Jen because of her pressuring me (as she should be) and allies like Shelli and Porsche wanting to keep her around. But also like.......what benefit would I realistically have had keeping her. Sure I guess she's someone on that like, "side" who wouldn't have gone against me, but how long was that going to last? Plus, she is almost surely a vote against people who I like and the less of those the better. She was also SO connected, underratedly so, especially with people who I wanted to get close to like Porsche and Shelli. Shelli was leaking stuff to Jen for a reason, and now that's one less connection she has that can be stronger than ours. And TBH, it sure seemed stronger! I didn't hear about the alliance stuff until after the fact (makes sense as to why given I lied to her about it first), so that relationship wasn't being as fruitful as either of us had intended probably.

That just about rounds out everything remaining from last week which seems relevant for this one, I'll make another post about that just so I spread it out a little bit.

[zach]

But wait! There's More! I haven't even gotten too much into this week yet



Like I said earlier, Shelli winning HoH had the potential to be really good for me. At the time tho I didn't recognize how it also could have gone REALLY terribly. I didn't want Natalie or Becky nominated and in trouble and I was worried that would be the course of action that Shelli took, so you can imagine the sigh of relief I had when Natalie also won HoH as a part of Pandora's Box.

However the major thing to come out of this was that Shelli was essentially using my own lines on me haha. Not to say they were remotely disingenuous, but initially when she won HoH she said that she hoped that her winning would prove to me that she wants to work with me like what I told her when I won the HoH. I made sure to talk to her about basically everything happening during the HoH to make it clear so I was HOPING that would be the case here too. Maybe it would have had she kept complete control but because Natalie ended up controlling half it seemed like she got a bit quiet. Something that probably contributed to that was that she wanted to nominate Becky who she knew I was close to (I'll get into that in a bit).



However not to say that she didn't talk to me at ALL about what was going on. The night she won she was filling me in on random stuff involving me. Jun apparently was talking to her trying to break the ice after last round happened. Now I wouldn't have been surprised for Shelli to NOT nominate Jun in an effort to try and rebuild that bridge, which I'd imagine was her mindset. I am curious tho to see who she is closer with between me and Jun because I sure HOPE it's me but hard to be sure. Anyway back to the point, Jun was telling her about how she was a bit nervous about me ever since stuff exploded because I was coming off weird in convo. Now this wasn't remotely on purpose and TBH I didn't see any change whatsoever in our relationship, but Shelli was asking me about that and it was probably weird to hear "yeah I have no idea what she's talking about." Shelli was trying to poke fun at how controlled my responses are but TBQH I'm like always worried about saying the wrong thing with Shelli so I didn't realize she was joking lmao (if she even was). But yeah so that was kinda weird.



She also said that Cody was talking to her. Now, before this I was talking to Cody about how nervous he was about her winning HoH while hardly talking to her and where it was kinda obvious they had a little beef. I told him that it literally couldn't hurt to message her and then he ended up doing that.

Now, I'd like you to picture a scene like this on the actual show. First we cut to cody and I talking, and then a DR by me talking about the conversation and how I said he should probably still talk to Shelli and that I'm trying to be nice and rebuild the lack of bond we have especially after I didn't go to him directly after the alliance blow up stuff happened (I forgot about him tbh in the midst of all the stuff happening). Not like I WANTED him in trouble so also wanted to help him out a bit. Now we cut to Cody going into the HoH room and then a DR of his saying he knows he's in trouble and that he needs to say something to Shelli to make sure he can get out of it. Now cut to a convo between him and Shelli talking about noms and then he says "hey I think you should nom Becky and Zach," which leads to a camera cutting to me and then playing that like *boing* spring music and then cutting back to Shelli nodding and continuing to talk to him. Then he leaves and I end up back in the DR where Shelli tells me all of this and I have a very confused look on my face as we then cut to me making fun of Cody in the DR.

So APPARENTLY he went to Shelli about nomming Becky and I because he didn't really trust us after the last round and that we're probs close or whatever. Shelli told him something along the lines of thinking that he thought we were close and he laughed it off saying that we haven't talked very much and I was one of the last to talk to him about the alliance blow up stuff when everyone else basically did it immediately (fair enough tbh can't say I blame him). Was still a bit annoyed that he was throwing me and Becky UTB, moreso Becky because they actually have a good relationship and she seems like one of the few people who'd give him the time of day, but whatever I understand why especially when he has his back against the wall.



But yeah so now with that done, Kelsey messages me about wanting a truce? We had kinda been at odds the last few weeks so it was nice to see her go out of her way to ask for it. She was trying to tell me that she thinks we both deserve jury and that we're being pit against each other and stuff. Now TBH idt anyone pit us against each other that's been all out own doing lol, but we do at least based on activity seem to deserve Jury. Do I believe her that she's being serious about the truce and that she isn't just trying to cover her bases? TBH not remotely LOL oops. It seems like every time I have a conversation with Kelsey we're both just spewing BS and while I guess if I read after the fact that wasn't the case I'll feel bad, it's still hard to determine otherwise. We are both big players and targets but I have no idea who to target if NOT her. Jackie maybe??? Jen said that she was still sketched about me, which I kinda figured. Not going to COMPLETELY go all in on that and believe it tho cuz that'd be silly.

But that is a problem I have in this game, I have no idea who to target. If I win an HoH wtf do I do. I need to show my cards and betray someone, and I'd rather avoid that if I can. One of the reasons why I wanted to win an early HoH was that it would be easier to not seriously betray anyone (Jackie doesn't count as being seriously betrayed tbh) and I still have a comp win to boot, PLUS easy to make the game talk rolling. However if there isn't a house target and there is no one going after me (to my knowledge) who do I nom? Natalie and Becky would probs want to see Porsche or Shelli go which I most definitely do NOT, and Shelli and Porsche probably would like one of them to go which I def don't want. I can't even say I'm really in the middle though because I don't feel secure, just that I don't think there is anyone I can target outside Jackie that wouldn't get eyes to turn. Even then, I think Ika gets confused and Jun Becky and Natalie wonder why i didn't nominate Shelli and Porsche or Kelsey or whatever. GOOD BB players, most of the time anyway, either have a defined side and it's easy for them to go after someone while being HoH, or only win hoH when they need to or when there's a house target. I think I'm going to need to slink back into that roll and try to avoid winning HoH for a bit, and I hope I don't regret that.



So Becky and I are rly good friends outside ORG stuff and that's lovely. However like I said in my cast assessment initially, the best thing about playing with her is that usually it's easy to keep everything in game. Now it's not her fault at all for this but it's annoying that I feel like that contributed to Becky and I beginning to get paired up and how I think it's basically forcing us together. Not like I don't want to work with Becky, it's quite the opposite and that should be rather obvious given the fact I still went out of my way to make an alliance with her, but I don't know why we as a pairing are seen as a thing when in this game we had done nothing to encourage that storyline. Yes I know we were in an alliance but we were with 2 other people. Wasn't she the one invited to an alliance with Natalie, Arlie, and Erika? So why is that a thing? Why do people think that one of us was involved with manipulating Arlie's HoH? It's stuff like that where I just need to take a step back and pray that it isn't as big of a deal as I may be making it out to be in my head, but I know is still a thing that's out there. Becky then asked me to participate in PoV and to use it on her and while I knew it was going to be a VERY awkward convo with Shelli if I won PoV and wanted to use it on her, it's sorta a dick move to say no. I did warn her tho that it would probably buy into the whole pair thing but admittedly a bit late for make that go away unless we go out of our way to make it so.

I didn't win PoV anyway and while Becky seemed to think that Cody might use the PoV on her I kinda figured after the convo he had with Shelli he wouldn't, but that's not a huge deal because I don't think anyone is going to want Becky out over Corey who people don't really talk to. I can understand being worried about the alliance and wanting Becky out over that, but not when she's next to Corey of all people. I like the guy but game wise he just hasn't had the chance to make the game bonds. At least he made my life inconvenient by PoVing Kelsey

But that's it for me I think that's just about everything that's important for the round. I kinda want to make something official with Shelli and Porsche given each of them both know that I am very close with both but I feel like the round after an alliance I made blows up ISN'T a great time to make another alliance.

[zach]

It's way too quiet and I think it's because people are trying to avoid talking to me about how they're voting Becky.

Votes we have for sure essentially include Jun, myself, Arlie, Cody. That means we just need 2 more. I'm going to aim for Howard and Erika because I think those are the two people I have the best relationship with. Ika hasn't responded to me and Porsche said she's on the fence so I'm not overly optimistic about her.

[zach]

^ If Becky gets voted out this round, this is why ^

Had she not told Shelli anything then we wouldn't need to worry about the alliance leaking and we wouldn't have gotten Howard and Ika and David to distrust us

SPOILER: Click to show

Not saying I'm blameless considering I made the alliance in the first place tho

[zach]

Ok yeah becky is hella effed. Nothing I think I could have done given in talking to Howard he seems distracted by the fact we had an alliance without him. Just have to hope this doesn't carry over.

At least I can win HoH next week and not feel pressured about who to nominate.



2 people who didn't talk to me and attempting to play the middle.